Normal for Bridgwater

BBC Sherlock

Rating: 15 (swearing, slash, femslash, het)

Spoilers: for Scandal in Belgravia.

For Bloom84's Laud Lestrade prompt: Choosing a P.E. teacher over Greg Lestrade? That's just utterly implausible. There must be some really complicated backstory to explain that fantasy plotline. Unless the P.E. teacher is Michael Fassbender--and then I still have my doubts. Please give me a fic that sorts this out.

Note: NFB (Normal For Bridgwater) is an abbreviation allegedly used by medical staff in Somerset for patients with non-specific mental confusion.

Betaed by the wonderful Fengirl88

( Greg Lestrade had been happily married for six years. And unhappily married for a further seventeen. Or at least that was the official line. )

221B: There will be blood

BBC Sherlock

Rating 12 (violence)

Spoilers for The Reichenbach Fall


It's only after Sherlock's funeral that Molly is certain they'll get away with it. She doesn't attend the service in case he decides to reappear then: her heart couldn't stand it. As it is, she's a nervous wreck, but everyone presumes that's just the grief of obsession. People think Molly's pathetic, clinging hopelessly to the belief that Sherlock wasn't a fraud. In fact she's mostly worried that someone will realise who rigged the DNA testing of the corpse.

And who pushed a dead man out of a second-storey window. She's much stronger than she looks; you have to be, in her job. And Sherlock's right, as usual. Smashed onto the pavement, one broken body in a fancy coat does look like another, if you're in complete shock. If you know that it's your friend there, your mind papers over discrepancies. The dead never look quite like the living: every doctor knows that.

Molly feels desperately sad for John, but she's gloriously unconcerned about Sherlock having killed Jim. Not after all the people he murdered, the children he tormented. She'd have shot Moriarty herself if she knew how to use a gun. At least she was useful this time. Though it's somehow typical that Sherlock also left her with the job of secretly removing Jim's body from the roof at Barts.

221B: Sherlocks Holmes

BBC Sherlock

Rating: PG

Spoilers for The Reichenbach Fall



"There's a dead man in Addlestone who looks like me," Sherlock told Molly, and she really wasn't sure what a sensible reply to that was.

"Right," she said nervously, and waited for the really alarming bit.

"I need someone to collect him. You've got a car, haven't you? I'm going to fake my own death, so easiest to start with a lookalike corpse."

"OK," she replied, because she had promised she'd help him. "Do you know where this body is? I mean, where in Addlestone?"

"Yes, but Mick, who found it, doesn't have his own transport, and taxis can be funny about these things. But the body's quite fresh, it'll look fine in your passenger seat."

"I see. Can I possibly ask how he died?"

"He was murdered.  Oh, not by me, don't worry. He was an actor, hired by Moriarty to pretend to be me and to carry out an abduction. After which, Moriarty killed him. You'd have thought that was the obvious hazard of taking the role, but actors clearly don't have much common sense."

"I've never seen an actor who looks like you," Molly said.

"The resemblance isn't particularly close, but hair dye and the right clothes hide a lot. He wasn't a well-known figure: I doubt he's any great loss to the profession. His name was Benedict."

221B: Scoop

BBC Sherlock

Rating PG

Spoilers for The Reichenbach Fall


"Why would Sherlock Holmes invent a master criminal?" the reporter asked.

"So he could defeat me and prove he was a genius," Moriarty said confidently.

"But he is a genius, isn't he?" she replied, smiling. "It wasn't you who planned the Crown Jewels raid, because you're just a hired actor, it was him. That's pretty impressive."

"His idea was that I was such an incredible master criminal that I could get away with crimes even when I was clearly guilty."

"So Mr Holmes rigged the jury?"

"Yeah, like he promised me."

"But presumably, he was going to catch you in the end: Moriarty, the bomber, the child abductor. Crimes that he'd carried out, but you would be blamed for. And you'd have to be found guilty this time, for him to win."

"I suppose so."

"You'd get a long sentence then, wouldn't you?"

"He said he'd get me out. Remember, he can open up Pentonville."

"And whose word could you possibly trust more than that of a fantasising homicidal genius? Or who would it be safer for you to tell a reporter about? You know," Hildy Johnson added. "I don't think our readers are going to swallow this one, to be honest. But don't worry, I'll give you the number of a reporter on the Sun, if you like, Mr Brook."

Note: Hildy Johnson is from His Girl Friday

221B: Things that go bump in the street

BBC Sherlock

Rating: U

Spoilers for The Reichenbach Fall

"Why me?" Mycroft demanded, when Sherlock told him his request.

"The joy of redemption, Mycroft," Sherlock replied, mockingly. "After all, you stitched me up with that journalist. You need this, you know, or you won't sleep at night."

"I could have arranged your entire demise, if you'd asked."

"Of course. You specialise in reusing corpses, don't you? But, as you see, I've managed that side myself, with some help from my friends. I'm giving you this minor role in my plan as a favour."

"For which you will expect repayment, naturally."

"Naturally. Dying is easy, staying dead requires more resources. So are you going to do it? Or do I cut you out of the loop entirely?"

"I don't see how we can make this work. John will recognise me."

"You'll be well disguised, and he'll be in shock. Henry Knight's mind created a monstrous hound, because it seemed more plausible than the truth. John won't believe it could be you, so he won't see you."

"I'm frankly not sure I can manage it."

"It's a simple enough task. A twelve-year-old could do it. In fact, I still have the scars from where you did do it to me."

"But I don't have the equipment."

"Oh, Mycroft, really. I'm sure your department's budget can run to buying you a BMX bike."