Secret Santa reveal: my first ever Lestrade fic

Having not signed up for the 221B Secret Santa slash originally, I volunteered as a pinch hitter a week or so ago, and ended up getting a Lestrade prompt, despite the fact that I haven't previously done any Lestrade fic. Still, I have read a lot of it, particularly by Blooms84 and Fengirl88. So, inspired by their example, I took Lestrade and started to see how I could play with him (not as gently as I should have done).

The original prompt suggested Lestrade solving a case (though the prompt mutated a bit over the period), so I downloaded the slashiest ACD story I knew (The Three Garridebs) and then found the Metropolitan Police Missions and Values Statement online. After that I completely ignored the Secret Santa word limit, and set about reworking the story to have Lestrade solve the case rather than Sherlock, while updating it 100 years or so. Then I bunged in more gratuitous in-jokes (some so obscure that no-one else will ever get them), and got Blooms84 to correct both my Americanisms and ACD's. The result is 11,000 words (!) of police procedural crack with a side-order of h/c, and a lot of gratuitous slurs at personnel departments:

The Adventure of the Three Bedirrags (Part 1, Part 2 ).