marysutherland: (Mary Sutherland)
Note: fics with an asterisk beside them are also available on AO3

BBC Sherlock fics

Sherlock/John )

Mycroft/Lestrade )

Mycroft/John )

Sherlock/Lestrade )

John/Lestrade )

Harry/Molly )

Other femslash )

Irene Adler )

Other )

Non-Sherlock fics )
marysutherland: (Mary Sutherland)
ACD Sherlock/Flanders and Swann crossover

Rating PG

Summary: Why does a strange case in a Sussex village leave Sherlock Holmes baffled?

For fengirl, with whom several months ago I discussed the possible existence of Sherlock/Flanders and Swann crossover fic.

"My dear Watson, your visit is opportune," Sherlock Holmes announced. )

For those who do not know the song inspiring this, it is Bedstead Men.
marysutherland: (Mary Sutherland)
Rating 12 (vaguely obscene food references)

The Sherlock Holmes Picnic this year included a fabulous mystery competition that had us charging all over Regent's Park to solve a murder set in an AU in which Sherlock and John are real. In this AU, the Sherlock RPF picnic also took place in Regent's Park, featuring a cast of deluded and sometimes dangerous fans, many of whom you may recognise from the Fandom_Wank report.

Also present, however, was the world's most clueless Sherlock RPF fan, Miss Mary Sutherland. What follows is her account of the day.

(Note: this fic does not contain major spoilers for the murder mystery. It contains minor spoilers, but only in the way that a haystack contains a needle: as the results of the competition indicate, Mary Sue Sutherland can't spot an important clue if it comes along and bites her on the ankle).

From: Mary Sue Sutherland <>
To: SherlockHat [e-mail redacted]
Sent: Saturday, 20 July 2013, 22:24
Subject: Re: Sherlock picnic 2013

Dear Hat,

You said you wanted me to tell you the highlights of the Sherlock RPF picnic, so you could do another one of your parodies, but it was beyond parody this time. Going to a conference on the care of municipal archives sounds a lot more fun; I'd have gladly swapped places with you. But I've been going to the picnic every year, and having signed up for this year's one before Laptopgate, I thought it'd look suspicious if I didn't show up at all. My plan was to go along for a bit and then invent the need for an urgent trip to the Warburg Library if I decided to sneak off early.

I'd managed to keep a low profile online about Laptopgate (helped by the fact that even though I was recruit number 5 to CAMSIC, I'm still pretty much a no-name-fan in most quarters), but I knew I was going to have to take sides at the picnic. Which meant sticking up for Delstalker, even though you know what I think about her and about "Cold and Broken Hallelujah". (BTW, have you got any further with "You Don't Really Care For Fanfic, Do Ya?" It has to be finished, even if you then need to change your name and retreat into your archives for ten years to avoid the resulting flack).

That's the point, after all: Delstalker may have written a fic I loathe, but that doesn't mean she's responsible for people's over the top reactions to it. And I don't think it was trolling: she strikes me as absolutely sincere in her belief that Sherlock getting himself stupidly killed was the best kind of ending ever. (I do sometimes wish I could round up half of all fanficcers into re-education camps and explain to them that a good relationship involves two happy people treating each other without emotional cruelty, and why can't they write something like that for a change?)

But anyhow, you wanted to hear about the picnic. I ignored Annie's request for cupcakes, because there's only so much sugar anyone can eat, and I took along some cheese straws. Not in the shape of anything, because I am a writer, not a baker, and it was hard enough just avoiding burning them. I got there quite early, only to find no sign of Annie. But Del was there, so it was just as well I had my CAMSIC T-shirt on. Only, of course, she said it was last year's T-shirt and why didn't I buy this year's one from the store? I said I tried to make all my clothes last several years, and she said it showed (!!)

And then I got the expected interrogation about why I hadn't left comments on "Hallelujah" and what I thought of it. I gave her some vague reply about never being good at putting things in comments, and that I had found her fic very thought-provoking. I didn't say, obviously, that the main thoughts were "God, how much Sherlock would hate this romantic crap" and "John Watson writes more coherent paragraphs than Del". I really don't see why people want to turn Sherlock Holmes, who I know from meeting him is both brilliant and a prick, into some kind of emotional idiot. His eyes and his coat are really not the most interesting thing about him.

But anyhow, having, I hoped, satisfied Del, who wants acclaim from everyone, even someone she despises like me, I looked around to see who else was there. I spotted a rather uncomfortable looking bloke in a rugby shirt sitting in his own, so I wondered if he was a newbie and needed introducing to people. It turned out, however, that he was the legendary Charlie, who was a lot less appealing than Annie had made him out to be. In fact I can't really understand what she sees in him: he comes across as spectacularly boring. I also can't understand why she had thought it was a good thing dragging him along to the picnic and then abandoning him. Meeting a load of RPFers en masse isn't really a good idea for Muggles, especially when we were all starting to get hyped up on sugar and slash talk. I did manage to do Charlie one favour and divert Kate Kissinger from her obvious descent on him. Definitely taking one for the team, especially as she'd brought along penis-shaped cupcakes. (Don't ask! Please don't ask! I almost joined "They're Just Friends" on the spot from the squick alone).

I got about quarter of an hour of theories from Kate, which wasn't as bad as I expected, because I got her onto Mycroft. Since I've actually talked to him (you remember the affair of the dead cat fic), I'm quite prepared to believe the worst about him, however implausible. And I did quite like the idea that he was actually a lizard, though I'm not sure how that squares with him also being a descendant from the Merovingian royal family. (And frankly, Mycroft's a lot brighter than Clovis or Dagobert ever were).

After that, I managed to find I'm Not Your Shipper and SpeedyWoman and we had a nice peaceful chat about gender roles and the awesomeness of Mrs Hudson. Not Your said she was think of writing an AU in which it's actually Mrs Hudson who solves all the crimes using Sherlock as a front, because no-one takes older women seriously. (She thought of it as Miss Marple meets Remington Steele). I'm always a bit twitchy about RPF AUs, but she was making quite a lot of decent points about levels of reality which ties in with your ideas about parody and roman-à-clef as political weapons (because, of course, the personal is always political for women, isn't it? You can't hear the DS Donovan haters without realising that).

Anyhow, we had an intelligent and sensible conversation for quite a long time, which is completely unsuitable for parody by you, and then we got ambushed by Parma Violet, who apparently thinks that trolling online isn't enough and that a true troll works in person. I always find her mind-bendingly frustrating, because she makes one or two good points, but if you agree with her on those she thinks you are ripe for conversion to her whole worldview. There are options in between the people who want to kidnap John Watson and force him to write slash and those who are practically stalking John's girlfriends to prove he's not gay. (I almost suggested that Violet kidnap John and wire him to a plethysmograph to check that he wasn't, but that would be completely unethical. Though I am now tempted to write a fic in which Sherlock does that to John in order to get baseline data for some case and then gets a surprise at how John reacts to him. Or is that a borderline creepy thought? When I hang around too much with the other RPFers, it gets hard to tell).

I had presumed that Violet was targeting people at random, but it turned out she'd read my Clara fic (The Solitary Fish-Cyclist) in which I hypothesise that Sherlock might be asexual. I know I'm not the first person to suggest that, but I think I'm probably the only member of CAMSIC who has done so recently, so she was pleased about that. Until I pointed out that saying Sherlock was asexual when he might not be was no less disrespectful than saying he was gay when he might not be, unless you were automatically thinking that being gay was wrong. At which point we got the usual tedious attempt by Violet to prove she isn't a homophobe. (I always feel she's protesting a bit too much, though I've no idea why. Maybe she secretly lusts after Del?)

Violet lost interest in me after a bit, and I realised that this was because Annie had finally turned up, and the queue to talk to her was promptly developing. This is the bit where I get reminded of school, because Annie is the popular girl this year and you can see it driving Del wild that she's not top anymore. I've always hated that kind of cliquey stuff, so I went off to talk to Natasha. Whom I admire not because she's got a publishing deal, but because she's a genuinely good writer. I do my best not to envy her success, even though there are times when she makes me feel I want to delete all my work and start again from scratch. But our styles are just so different that I'm probably better off trying to write as well as I can as Mary Sutherland rather than be another Sedimentary clone. It certainly took Annie a long enough time to find her own voice after writing together with Tash.

Since I knew you'd want the gossip, I did ask Tash what was the deal about her having to take down her previous stories from the net, and got something of a rant. As you suspected, Annie is refusing to allow her to do that and the sticking point is the shared stories. I suggested to Tash that she just let Annie take the whole credit for them, but that didn't go down well. I suppose since "Sherlock on the Buses" is the fic that first captured Sherlock's voice, it's not surprising that Tash is reluctant to abandon her baby. But I think she will in the end, because the publishers are insisting on it, and there must be some way of buying Annie off (possibly even literally). Tash is sensible enough to realise that, surely?

I decided after a while that I'd better distract Tash from her (justified) complaints about Annie, so I asked her about cupcakes. She said she'd just brought some chocolate ones from Tescos (having had to go herself at the last minute to get them, because her husband had bought chocolate brownies instead). That made me feel less bad about the cheese straws and we got into a discussion of the best and worst of the homemade cakes. I thought the CAMSIC ones had actually been quite clever and I also liked the look of the ones with the green gun iced on the top (though that turned out to be peppermint, when I ate it, which isn't my favourite). Tash said Kiss' penis cakes had been surprisingly good and actually not as worrying as some of the other ones around. That surprised me, because most of the rest of the designs had been relatively tame: red pants and poison pills and moustaches and the like. But Tash said someone had come with a cupcake with Annie's name actually written on it in icing.

I said that must be April, and was she really still trying to get Annie involved in her Mystrade community? I think April must have asked everyone to come and help her with it now: she even tried to get me involved at one point, although I've always made it clear to her what I think about Mycroft. (And yes, that is another reason why I was trying to avoid April even before the laptop affair. Good deduction, that. Because though I do feel a bit sorry for her – she has a rotten time in RL – she is completely unsuitable for any community except care in the community).

I'm sorry, that's getting very bitchy, but Flame's combination of intensity and helplessness always makes me uncomfortable. But Tash was saying that Annie now has another over-enthusiastic follower. I don't know where she finds them all. There was foxycop getting all peculiar about her and then April, and even Parma Violet, in an odd way, is more obsessed than Annie than you'd expect, given that Del's still head of CAMSIC. The new one is called something unmemorable, like Fan29, and no-one knows who she is, but Tash advised Annie to block her when she started posting repeatedly on all of Annie's fics.

I asked the obvious question about whether Fan29 was really a sock puppet of Annie, but Tash said no, it was definitely someone else, because she was obviously more medically knowledgeable than Annie. I asked her how she knew that, and she had some complicated argument about Annie getting details of blood-flow in The Software Engineer's Thumb completely wrong and Fan29 trying to defend her, even though she obviously knew the difference between venous and arterial bleeding. Honestly, if you want to know all the sordid details, you should probably e-mail Tash. I kept on getting the feeling that she had more to spill about Annie if I'd just known the magic words. Anyhow, the main point is that Annie has another huge fan and there will doubtless now be further ructions in the fandom about who is Annie's Best Friend Forever.

By that point I was starting to get a headache, because the whole thing was so complicated that it needed diagrams. You enjoy these kind of fights: I don't. Though I suppose that if I'm in a fandom devoted to a man who is always convinced that he and he alone is right and possessing no social tact whatsoever, I shouldn't be surprised if that influences the fans. I decided I'd sit down and relax and not over-think things, and I managed to find some people who were perfectly happy to discuss Dr Watson's apparent problems in reading a calendar correctly. (What is it with that man and his inability to get to grips with dates? Double-entendre entirely intended).

So I was finally unwinding and then along came the sugary straw that broke the camel's back. Someone had made cupcakes decorated with a crossed out "RPF", alongside an almond. A person conducting a feud via cakes with a nut on the top; doesn't that kind of food fight just sum up Sherlock RPF? I had to get out of there before it did my head in completely.

I didn't even stop to say goodbye to Not Your and SpeedyWoman and the rest – and Annie was still far too busy to approach and thank for organising the picnic. I was across the Clarence Bridge practically at a run, and when I looked at my watch as I left Regent's Park I saw it was 2 p.m. I'd managed fractionally under two hours talking to Sherlock RPFs and I was already worrying about my sanity. I headed for Baker Street tube, staying well clear of Speedy's, and went straight home.

E and E were still out on their cycling trip when i got back, so I did what you've been urging me to do and watched a couple more episodes of The White Queen on the BBC iPlayer. Funny how RPF is suddenly completely acceptable when it's all heterosexual and about dead royalty, isn't it? But I didn't spot the actor you claim looks like DI Lestrade. Are you sure you're not just making that up? I can't believe that any upper class twerp called Rupert and playing a lord is going to look much like the Silver Fox of the Yard. Will have to stop for the moment because it sounds like the cyclists returning and I'd better hear how they got on.

10 pm

The two Es ended up cycling for 32 miles, though they didn't get a swim because the tide in the Wash was too far out. I'm not sure Big E will ever be able to move again. I just said I'd left the picnic early because I got a bit tired talking to people and he didn't ask further. He's much happier if I don't mention the word "slash" and I know he always worries about me going off to these events. Still, I suppose this year's was relatively uneventful; no bizarre accidents or near-death experiences, unlike previous years. Even Laptopgate seems like a storm in a cupcake now I'm back home. Doubtless if you read all the LJ accounts of the picnic, you'll find there were more arguments after I'd gone, but it's all small stuff. Basically the fandom is about celebrating friendship and dreaming of being clever enough to solve crimes and we can all do that. On that cheery note I'll leave you, and good luck with finding something lurid enough for your next fandom parody.


Mary Sue


From: MGH [e-mail redacted]
To: AZ [e-mail redacted]
Sent: Sunday, 21 July 2013, 04:34
Subject: Re: Death of Annabel Keele


I know I told you to get GCHQ checking yesterday's PRISM data urgently regarding the demise of Ms Keele, but why on earth did you send me this? The NSA's algorithms may not be smart enough to recognise that I could not possibly want to read anything by Ms Sutherland, but you ought to know that by now. Even if she had been on the scene at the relevant time, she would not have observed anything of use; she never does.

Let me make this clear: I want accounts by people alert enough to spot what actually happened and I want them immediately. We have to get this death solved before the media pick up on the Sherlock connection. He obviously cannot be involved in the case himself, given that "Death by Squee" is now a recognised phenomenon, and the police have already shown themselves to be thoroughly untrustworthy in this matter.

Provided I can get reports from as many of those present at the picnic as possible, I have no doubt I will be able to solve the case promptly: it is only the legwork involved that keeps me from being a detective genius. Prancing around Regent's Park for three hours in summer is not my idea of fun. What I need now is not sentimental tosh about friendship from a short-sighted academic: send me a gigabyte's worth of RPF gossip and not only will I find the murderer, I may have the opportunity to close down CAMSIC at last. And you know what I'm prepared to do to achieve that.


PS: the above e-mail does, however, confirm that your betaing for Ms Delamare has been a considerable success. I remain grateful that you persuaded her to the "tragic" rewrite of Chapter 96 of "Hallelujah"; we may yet destroy the RPFers from within. That is, if they don't all slaughter each other first!
marysutherland: (Mary Sutherland)

There's a meme been going round recently getting you to list the top 10 of your fics by popularity. (I saw it initially on morganstuart's LJ, though it now seems to have vanished from there, and AJ Hall has also done it).

Since AO3 has most of my fics on it and hit counters, I've used that. The one fic that isn't on there that might perhaps come in the top 10 otherwise is Last letter, which I wrote early on in fandom and now seems embarrassingly sentimental, but still sometimes get found or even recced).

I've also, just for comparison, put in my bottom 5 fics.

My most popular fics on Archive of Our Own (hits as at 10/5/12, excluding fics posted in that week and non-Sherlock fics)

1) Jealous Guy (9000 words, mature) Kudos 131, Hits 3901
Mystrade: Lestrade suspects Mycroft of cheating on him.

2) Impure Genius (22,000 words, mature) Kudos 151, Hits 3539
Sherlock/John:  Insecure, self-harming Sherlock being sorted out by John via a boot camp and sex.

3) SNAFU (18,000 words, mature) Kudos 113, Hits 2947
Sherlock/John: John attempting to be normal and failing badly, despite Clara's help.

4) Tastes (3,000 words, teenage) Kudos 49, Hits 2723
Mycroft/John: Sherlock gets jealous about John's personal life (First part of Blame Jeremy Bentham series).

5) MI Sex (9,000 words, explicit) Kudos 183, Hits 2721
Mystrade: Lestrade discovers Mycroft's murky past in the Secret Service.

6) Half a loaf (20,000 words, explicit) Kudos 126, Hits 2460
Mycroft/John: Straight John gradually falls for gay Mycroft and they finally get together.

7) Goodbye, Irene (2,000 words, teenage) Kudos 117, Hits 2333
Gen: My alternative ending for Scandal in Belgravia, in which Irene outplays Sherlock.

8) Baker Street Imp (16,000 words, general audiences) Kudos 93, Hits 2297
Sherlock/John: Sherlock and John have to look after Clara's seven-year-old niece.

9) Holmes comforts (12,000 words, mature) Kudos 56, Hits 2086
Mycroft/John: Mycroft trying to get together with John without letting Sherlock know (Second part of Blame Jeremy Bentham series).

10) Sex doesn't alarm me (221 words, mature) Kudos 51, Hits 1884
Mystrade: Crack fic where Sherlock discovers worrying pictures on Lestrade's phone

Bottom 5 on AO3

1) Poor Jenny, bright as a penny (1,800 words, teenage) Kudos 8, Hits 74
Femslash: The Pink Lady's backstory.

2) Calm and Storm (442 words, mature) Kudos 6, Hits 75
Ella/Sally: 221Bs in bed

3) Straight, Smooth, Scholar (663 words, general audiences) Kudos 2, Hits 80
Ella/Sally: getting to know one another

4) Patterns (3,300 words, mature) Kudos 7, Hits 103
Sally/Harry meet and connect

5) Six hours, forty-six minutes (2,200, mature) Kudos 8, Hits 106
Ella/Anthea: Anthea has a bad day: Ella helps her unwind.

The bottom five are hardly surprising: femslash doesn't tend to get that many readers, though the people who do read it often like it a lot. The top ten are more surprising: my readers mostly want slash, but not necessarily Sherlock/John.  I'm particularly surprised that several of my Mycroft/John stories rate so highly, but that may be because not many people write that pairing. And I also know several of them have been included on rec lists by M/J shippers.

More generally, what my readers seem to want is long, angsty fics. "Impure genius", "Half a loaf" and "SNAFU" are among the five longest individual fics I've written, and "Baker Street Imp" and the "Blame Jeremy Bentham" sequence are also very long. I've written around fifty 221Bs, but only one of them makes it in the top 10, and it may well get overtaken long term by "You cannot libel the dead" in 11th place. "Sex doesn't alarm me" is also the only purely comic piece in the top 10, though "Baker Street Imp" is also pretty fluffy, and "Goodbye, Irene" is largely angst-free. Otherwise, it's reticent male suffering FTW, though all the top 10 do eventually have happy endings.

There are several other longish Mystrade fics in positions 11-20, but there are also a few other fics of mine which are similar to these popular ones and yet are much further down the list. For example, The Penultimate Problem, which I think is one of my most ingenious long Mystrade fics, and with bucketloads of angst,  hasn't done very well. And I'm also disappointed at the showing for Doctor meets Doctor; I suspect that doesn't get many readers because nobody but me ships John Watson/Mike Stamford, but I still think it works well as a combination of unlikely romance and excessive angst. (As well as having the only (two-person) sex scene I've ever written that is het and slash simultaneously).

It's interesting seeing these details of my readership, but it's not particularly going to change what I actually write. There will be more femslash up soon (including more long, angsty femslash, which in the ratio to time spent writing versus readership is really not effective). There isn't likely to be any more Mycroft/John for a long time, because Series 2 John and Mycroft don't seem to me to be a viable partnership. And too many of my stories at the moment I can't think of a happy ending for. But then if you prefer people who do exactly the things you like, you wouldn't be a Sherlock fan anyway, would you?

marysutherland: (Wallpaper)

BBC Sherlock

Rating: 12

Spoilers: major for Scandal in Belgravia

Summary: for those of this who didn't like the ending of Scandal, the full story can now be revealed...

Special thanks for spontaneous betaing by Blooms84 and late-night discussions with Fengirl.

Sherlock still wasn't certain who the British Prime Minister was, but he was now much better informed about Pakistani politics, thanks to Ali Khan of Baker Street Balti.  )

marysutherland: (Mary Sutherland)
Happy Christmas to Warriorbot, who deserves a special 221B for getting Mary Sue Sutherland writing metafic.


Rating 15 (frankly alarming fiction)

It was December 15th and it was quiet.

"Too quiet," Lestrade said.

"On the streets?" Donovan asked.

"On the RPF meme. You've been monitoring it. What are they up to now?"

"Sure you wanna know?"

"Mistletoe and mince-pies? Sherlock uttering the phrase 'Happy Holidays'?"

"Rare pairing fest," Donovan replied. "Would you believe there are people out there wanting Moriarty/Anderson slash?"

"That'll pay Anderson back for posting photos of Mycroft on Tumblr," Lestrade said. "Just tell me no-one's imagining me with Sherlock again. It upsets My and John and I don't want any more writers damaged."

There was a particular intensity to Donovan's silence by now.

"Worse than that?" Lestrade demanded.

"Someone's requested Dark Lestrade/Dimmock, sir."

"Yes, but no-one's insane enough to write... Oh God, they haven't let Sutherland near the internet again, have they?"

"It's not just her, sir. They're all out again: Mary Sue, Foxycop and Warriorbot. The word on the tweet is they're collaborating now. And we've just intercepted this message." Donovan handed him the print-out gingerly, obviously unwilling to read it out.

Dear MSS, OK so we're agreed: Holmescest with voyeur Lestrade it is. I do the porn, you do the angst and Foxycop does the adjectives. Love 'Bot.

Well that solved the problem of Mycroft's Christmas present, thought Lestrade. Just get him a gallon of brain bleach.

Notes: Lurking on the Sherlock Rare Pair fest there are indeed alarming things. Foxycop first appears in Going Down With This Ship by Warriorbot, and her legendary fic I'm not Your Sniffer Dog is here.

marysutherland: (Wallpaper)
BBC Sherlock

Rating: 15 (swearing)

For shouldboverthis, with congratulations on her clever Gloria Scott-inspired fic.

A sort of sequel to B221

"She fooled your team again, I see. Hardly surprising, when you're so blind."

"How did she do it then? How did she pass the message on?"

"Obvious, surely, to the meanest intelligence? Oh, I forgot-"

"Up yours, Sherlock! She's beaten you before now. Ms Adler's too clever for the lot of us."

"Lestrade, I hardly think you can compare my minor error to your catastrophic blunder. You actually saw her write the story in the internet cafe."

"Don't rub it in. It looked harmless."

"But it wasn't."

"OK. But we checked it, like you told us to. Every third word, reading it backwards, looking for codewords. We even ran it through that statistical analysis programme."

"Visual inspection would have been enough, if you had but eyes to see."

"Excuse me, I came here for help, not to get sneered at."

"Really? It's so simple, I wonder why I bother."

"Tell me. For God sake, Sherlock, tell me what you know."

"How it was done? Simple. Look carefully down the story and tell me what you see."

"If you take the first letter of every, the first letter of every paragraph, it –"

"Spells out the name of Ms Adler's contact. Who has now had ample time to escape. I think the word you're looking for here, Lestrade, is Buggeryfuckingbollocks."
marysutherland: (Mark Gatiss)
Since Blooms84 has been discussing her attraction to certain policemen and actors recently, a little something for her and others...

Warning: contains high levels of crack and sexual implications that British people may find alarming.

"I'm away for three days, Greg, and you end up in this, this orgy?"

"Wasn't supposed to be an orgy, My," Greg protested, holding his head. "S'pposed to be a drinking game."

"It was supposed to be the Police Federation Regional Intelligence Forum."

"DCI Luther, DS Ripley and me went to the session on rural crime, and the speaker had brought drinks for after. Short, slim guy called Hamish, absolutely gor...Scottish."


"Highland term, means very Scottish. He was from somewhere called Loch Dubh. Lot of whisky there. Well, there was once."

"Drinking games with a Gor-Scotsman. And then?"

"The Manchester delegation were all female, we thought we'd win easily."

"You attempted to out-drink some Mancunians, Greg?"

"Was getting friendly with DC Rachel Bailey, too. Till I realised if I didn't get away, I'd start a torrid affair with her and it'd end with a messy breakup and me trying to get her run over by a contract killer."

"So instead, Luther, Ripley, PC Macbeth and you returned to your bedroom. The tapes have been wiped, Greg. I wish my mind could."

"Sorry. Dunno what came over me."

"Best to forget it. Mistakes happen," Mycroft said resignedly. After all, his own obsession with the actor Michael Sheen had seemed harmless. Till yesterday he'd somehow ended up sleeping with Tony Blair.
marysutherland: (Default)
BBC Sherlock

Rating: U

Set in the Mary Sue Sutherland metafic verse.

Summary: Mary Sue discusses writing techniques...

"Before we start, let me be clear that my interest in 221Bs is purely for a case."

"Of course. Because why would the great Sherlock Holmes stoop to writing fanfic?"

"Less sarcasm, Miss Sutherland. You're an idiot, but try at least to be a useful idiot."

"Remind me again why I'm helping you?"

"You want dirt on my brother's private life to incorporate in your RPFs."

"I prefer calling it background colour. But why come to me?"

"I need someone with a rudimentary grasp of both mathematics and fanfic. The intersection of those two sets has remarkably few members. Lestrade believes that our suspect's using some variant of the old trick of having every third word in a text spell out a message."

"As in the Gloria Scott case?"

"Exactly. But surely that's implausible?"

"Extremely. The 221B's a pretty strict form. It'd be tough to get more than a very short message into one while retaining any proper narrative. Much easier with a longer fic."

"You could doubtless camouflage the entire text of a naval treaty within some of your own effusions, Miss Sutherland. Yet you also persistently continue to churn out 221Bs."

"When they work, they're very satisfying. Though I tend to cheat, naturally."

"Naturally. How?"

"I think of a word starting with B and then write the fic backwards."
marysutherland: (Mary Sutherland)
A new Round Robin Sherlock story is developing at Gayalondiel's LJ. So far there are missing otters, vampires and the dreaded Belgian Butterfly in a Box. But we need more people along to contribute, so get over there! (And add Lestrade in, or whoever else you fancy).
marysutherland: (Default)
Posting may be light here for the next few weeks, because I'm currently finishing up some long fics and getting them betaed. Meanwhile, here are some other shiny things to keep people occupied:

1) Sherlockmas: Summer of Sherlock

Join us for daily Sherlock fic!

Click image to find us

A couple of fics of mine will be appearing in this at some point (both new pairings for me), but there are already a number of good fics there, including a very moving backstory for Lestrade by fengirl.

2) Further Interest: the Other Half of Sherlock Holmes

I know a number of my readers enjoy femslash and reading/writing about the female characters in Sherlock, so can I recommend Further Interest. This describes itself as "a community for recs, fic posts, and discussion of women and gender issues in Arthur Conan Doyle's original canon and all its variations." If you've got fics or recs suitable for going there, can you also post them, to help develop the community.

3) BBC Writer's Room

I recently came across this interesting resource for writers, which included shooting scripts for a number of BBC TV drama episodes. Among them is the shooting script for "Blind Banker". I know this is the episode of Sherlock that people can't stand, but I found it quite interesting technically to see how it got changed during shooting and how the actions we see on screen are being described in words.
marysutherland: (Default)
BBC Sherlock metafic

Rating 12 (minor character death)

Summary: In a recent comment, I compiled a list of 221B closing words I'd used. Which was bound to lead to my imagination taking an even more bizarre turn....

A sequel to Death of a Fanatic. However this story does not make any more sense if you read that first.

Mary Sutherland was dead: to begin with. There was no doubt whatever about that.

"Yes, there is," Lestrade protested. "She was that barking mad RPF writer, wasn't she? She died of an aneurism in London in January. How the fuck can she now have died in June on Dartmoor?"

"Oh, we know that bit, sir," Sally replied. "She didn't technically die on that fangirl outing, after all. Apparently, she accepted a drink from some Italian friar she met that made her seem to be dead, and then woke up forty-two hours later on a mortuary slab. Gave Molly Hooper a hell of a fright, I gather."

"That sort of thing doesn't happen in real life," said Lestrade.

"Sounds a bit dull," said an irritatingly familiar voice behind him. "This, however, is not. I sent John down to Devon with instructions to report back. Here are his pictures of the scene."

Lestrade stared at the phone screen, and the tall brown-haired woman sprawled lifeless on the ground. "Moriarty's work?" he enquired. It normally was.

"You idiot," Sherlock replied. "Look over there, at that spot near the woman's head. Can't you see the footprints?"

"Footprints? Those look...they look like rabbit tracks, except ten times larger."

"Serves Ms Sutherland right," said Sherlock cheerfully. "She's been mauled to death by a gigantic plot bunny."
marysutherland: (Default)

BBC Sherlock

Rating: 12 (implicit slash, explicit weirdness)

Summary: Lots of people have been posting about what happened at the recent London Sherlock meetup. This is what didn't happen. Another metafic in sequel to warriorbot's Going Down With the Ship and my Captain of the Ship. This is crackier. It may even be meta-metafic, I've lost track.

Another shitty day in paradise, Lestrade was thinking that afternoon.  )

marysutherland: (Default)
BBC Sherlock

Rating: 12 (slash, painful writing, plagiarism)

Summary: Sherlock is still attempting to write fanfic about himself, to show us how to do it.

With special thanks to warriorbot for betaing, and to et_cetera55 for allowing Sherlock to critique her fic and then plagarise from it.

Part 1

Fanfic didn't actually need dramatic action, Sherlock told himself when he returned to his writing project next day. )
marysutherland: (Default)

BBC Sherlock

Rating:  12 (slash, painful writing)

A number of months ago, the wonderful warriorbot wrote a metafic Going down with this ship, in which John and Sherlock's relationship was consummated as a result of them reading RPF about themselves. The sequel to these events has never been revealed. Until now...

With special thanks to warriorbot for allowing me to do a sequel and betaing this, and to et_cetera55, for reasons that will become apparent...




The terrible thing about the night at the pool is that John nearly got killed. The almost equally terrible thing about that night is that it wasn't Sherlock that saved John, but Mycroft.  )



marysutherland: (Default)

February 2017

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